Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
