TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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