Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Can I color on your dick again?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
