Do you still have your period?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
