Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
