Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize