Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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