wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
