So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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