Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
