The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
