i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
