Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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