I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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