also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize