that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
