Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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