This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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