I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
