awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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