drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
