where am i from again
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
