Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
did i just pee glitter
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
