Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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