Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
