Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
