i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize