omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
