So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
