so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
