I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
