I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
