Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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