there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
