The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
