areolas are like halos for boobs.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
