Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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