I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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