Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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