you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
