So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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