I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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