Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize