I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
