Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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