even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
