My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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