he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
