I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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