That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize