when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
