who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
