I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
