Sry I called you an 8
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
