Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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