So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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