i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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