THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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